A story to tell

I live a very hectic life and with little time to enjoy the breeze and the people passing by, i easily get frustrated and stressed when i forget i should take some time to appreciate my surroundings. But most of the time, my surroundings remind me of the memories, the past, the unwelcome thoughts that hunt my mind. And there i'm suppressed by emotions that take the best of me. Suppressed by emotions that don't let be free. Suppressed by emotions that only allow me to think of thee and The feeling of “loneliness” makes its way. I'm short on breath, I'm short of life. Because I'm consumed in the thought and idea of you. Because I cant, and perhaps dont want or need you in my life anymore. My thoughts walked me down memory lane. I'm too emotional, I should have known... Because in my “world” emotions mean much more than just 3 words, a kiss, a hug... It means human communication (physically, mentally), interaction (spiritually, emotionally), it means EVERYTHING and ALL I have ever known. In my "Emotional world" i also do feel alone. I feel trapped, empty, I feel like nothing without anyone to share it with. I have yet to find someone as passionate about life and its little, yet indispensable, details. It makes me sad, mad, alone. I think to myself, am I asking for much? You seek for intellectual stimulation. Can you get that from books, computers, games? Do you want to? I want emotional support. I need that voice to say “Its okay, I feel the same way too.” People laugh, and I just let them pass me by with those typical comments “Oh she is just untypical, or oh Yanela is just too weird and special.” Maybe I should just take them slightly and joke about it with them... Because to all I know, there is no “right” or “wrong” answer. Maybe I am a bit different. I dont want to deny that, I just want to find some one just as “different” and “weird” to share those “different” and “weird” thoughts with. Perhaps through my paintings and writings, ill be able to communicate with the world? And I've heard that to the world you might be just one person, but to one person you just might be the world. So just perhaps, to my "world" one day ill be able to communicate with just my eyes, no words, no sense of touch, just emotions and we'll know there is love because I'm not too "weird" and "different" but because we are just as weird and different. Moral of the story, we are all and will always remain alone. We just choose to close our eyes and ignore the indifferences among us all, and take those bits and pieces we feel are necessarily convenient to us, and then at that time we don't feel alone. Because we have each other at that point in time, where our differences don't matter at all.